Nobody ever told me that life as a mom will be easy, fun, happy moments, cheers and chirps, and cakewalk because IT ISN’T. It cannot be. You have now a new human in your life who is sole – for a few years initially – completely dependent on you and your partner. You have to take care of it and basically just try that this tiny human does not kill itself by either jumping from a couch, its high chair, putting the finger right inside the power plug, almost trying to touch the knife put on the table (because it is now tall enough to see and catch things on the table) and run without looking – literally. I am not this naive of a human, so I knew things and life isn’t going to be easy with a kid, but what I have realized over the past few weeks is that I freak out (not really, slightly though) when my husband gets sick. This is because he is literally my backbone. He is the one who has our daughter when I cook, he walks with her to make her sleep, he changes almost all her diapers, he is very particular about her cleanliness, he brushes her teeth twice a day and he does so many other things.

When he gets sick I become tense. I feel like I am the one solely responsible for our daughter and also take care of my husband. I then get tenses which gradually transform into worries and then I become uneasy and unpleasant to talk to. This ends up bringing a very nasty and gloomy vibe to the entire family. I have experienced it a few times already, and today I gave this entire issue some time and some genuine thoughts, and what I concluded was wonderfully revealing and surprising for me. The main reason for me getting into this unpleasant zone of myself when my husband gets ill is my underestimation of my own self. It is not that I have to take care of two people fully in the family, and do all the household chores including cooking, cleaning, washing, changing diapers, and going through sleepless nights, but I think I have to do all this. Last time when all three of us got sick – one after the other, we decided in such situations we should get into graceful degradation mode. For all those who are unaware of this term, it is the capability of a machine, computer, or a vehicle to continue the basic operations even if a large part of it is unable to function (due to any reason). It helps run the fundamental tasks of the machine without dying or shutting down fully.

Why is it so beneficial for me? Because when a situation like everyone is sick or my backbone-husband is sick and it needs to rest arrives, I do not start panicking that everything is on my shoulders now, instead, keep continuing the basic chores and at the same time not underestimating my capabilities as a mother, wife, family member and finally my own-self. Clothes and dishes can wait, food can be ordered, kids can stay a day or two not showered, your hair wash can wait for 48 hours (dry shampoo is a good option too), and cleaning can relax as in corona anyway no one is coming ;). It is not something that can be taken lightly because once you begin underestimating your capacities (pushing yourself to the limit is not good either) there is no coming back. Each time something happens or you have some sort of work/family pressure you will end up blaming your incompetence, thereby discouraging your mind, body, and soul. So, next time something like this happens to you, just remember we are smarter than machines because we made them and taught them the concept of graceful degradation. So why can’t we follow the same and maintain a jolly environment? ❤