Before we begin to talk about How should you feel good about yourself, we must address the elephant in the room: Why – at all – should you feel good about yourself? Because it is essential for your existence; because you are the most important person for yourself; because it is you who has to take care of yourself and only then can you take care of others; because self care is the best and the most crucial thing to do. A healthy mind, body and soul is all you need to live this life, and it is not rocket science to achieve that. Simply breathing and existing considering that your biology aids it, is neither cool nor is it fair to the chance you have got to live. Taking care of your own self, keeping yourself as your utmost priority, saying no to things or activities you do not like do not make you a bad or a selfish person. It simply means you know what does good to your body and what does not.

If you look at Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Tinder and the other – mostly irrelevant – social media platform, we represent the best sides of ourselves and our lives. Our happy pictures, our amazing vacations, our mesmerizing food evenings, our lovely dinner dates with family, our cool friend circle etc. The list is never ending. Everything is so flashy, beautiful, charming and pleasing to eyes that we forget the bitter reality: This is not how life is. This is not how we live, this is how none of us lives. Each day same story, get up, glam up, lip shade on and a picture is online. A couple of minutes later, the likes, the hearts and a few comments make us happy and we repeat. Why do we do that? Because we want to be appreciated and acknowledged. We want an approval from the others – significant or non significant – doesn’t matter. We want to hear, we’re looking good. It makes us feel good about ourselves and have a good day. It is neither bad to feel good when recognized or noted by someone, nor is it an abnormal behavior. The problem is feeling good only when others acknowledge you.

When you feel good only when someone else praises you or notices your good deed or tells you you look pretty, you make your self-worth dependent on that person or that comment. Over the period of time, you tend to seek and await such positive things from others. When they come you lit up, but when they’re missing you feel bad and terrible in the longer run. You think you are not doing something right, you are not good enough or anymore, you don’t fit and people don’t like you. In worse case scenario you try to change yourself and keep doing it until you receive some positive recognition, even if it is not real, you take it. It is like a drug for you, with it you feel amazing and without it life is no fun. This dependence can also lead you to depressed days and nights where you go to bed thinking and questioning why someone didn’t praise you or appreciated you and wake up expecting at least one positive comment from people around. Although, giving and taking acknowledgement is a powerful way for a positive behavior, being dependent fully on it certainly demolishes your self-confidence to the ground.

So to feel good about yourself by yourself, you should begin with:

1. Consider treating yourself as an important person in your life, it sounds funny, but it is necessary.
2. Do things that you like, no matter if others do not and they think you are crazy.
3. Spend some time alone with yourself, watch a movie, go out for a drink or dinner at a restaurant, a long drive or a hike.
4. Say no to things or people you do not want to spend time with. It is good for your mind, body and soul.
5. Write to people you like and to those who make you feel good about yourself – genuinely (not getting dependent on them for this feeling).
6. Praise yourself for achieving tasks you thought you could not achieve.
7. Laugh at your mistakes. This is what makes us human.
8. Try take criticism positively, since, firstly no one is perfect, and secondly may be the critic has a different opinion than you, which is absolutely okay.
9. Do not get offensive on everything that you hear. Sometimes, open ears and mouth shut is the best remedy. 😉
10. Remember, respect is earned and so is self-worth. Earn it for yourself, your mind and soul deserves it.