If you are a mother, you know this is going to be an interesting blog irrespective of a quick read or a perusal with patience. The moment you saw this post, you directly clicked on it, if not with the intention to read it, because you know you are a good mother, you at least wanted to know what is written in this post and does it answer your question – are you a good mother?

You are good, only if you are awake with your sick child every single night, if you feed your child before you eat your meal, if you pick up your infant the moment it cries, if you never let your kid stay away from you or your sight for more than 2 minutes, if you give your child whatever they want and whenever they want, and all these you must, you should, you have to, you are obliged to things that people or the society keeps telling you to do or expect you to do. If you believe this, or have been believing in this then let me tell you none of it makes you a good mother. Anything you do for your child, in its favor or not, because you want its well being and give it the best – your best – upbringing full of love and passion makes you a good mother. Nothing of what others expect you to do makes you anything more or less. You make yourself a good mother. Your love towards your kid, you patience when they don’t listen to you, your calm when they’re rebelling, your anxiety when they’re in trouble, your being yourself and trying your best in each and every situation makes you a good mother.

Motherhood transforms you to something you never thought you could become. It brings the best and the worst in you. It doesn’t see where you live, where you hail from, what do you do, did you eat or sleep or drink enough (I’m talking about water guys 😉 ), it just does what it is supposed to do – make you the mothers you are. From the moment you deliver your babies, you get on board for a journey without a destination. Most of us are not even aware of how to take care of new born. How to latch them on to breasts, how to change the diaper, how to pacify them, how to feed them every 2 hours (what? yeah, for a couple of weeks post-birth), how to then burp them, later bring them to sleep and the list goes on. At the end of day, you ask any mom, literally any mom, she will tell you she learned it by doing it. She somehow figured it out, a lot of things on her own, a lot with her partner’s and mothers’ help and of course, Dr. Google (how can I not mention it here).

Being flooded with tasks to achieve with kids is natural. It is alright to be overwhelmed with your new born, with your hyperactive toddlers, with your rebellious 2 year olds, with your teenagers and of course with your “adult” children. Children can be – actually are most of the times – tough to handle and stressful. No matter what age group they belong to, they need you and they suck your patience and energy out of you. We don’t live in films where you sleep at 10pm and wake up a 5am with a face fresh like a lily, eyes wide open, a fit body as a yoga instructor and all ready to hit the day. Most of us, probably all of us, go to bed finishing up house chores late night, wake up a couple of times in the night and then wake up the next morning only to look at our faces turned into a zombie. That’s how it is and it is okay to accept and verbalize that we’re often – if not always – inundated with our kids. It doesn’t mean we cannot be or we are not happy and satisfied with them. This also doesn’t make us bad mothers, instead it makes us a very real, honest and a genuine mother.

Speaking about your little trouble makers and how they keep you fully immersed isn’t often seen as a good aspect in our current lifestyle. Specially, in the age of social media where each picture, post or a story must exhibit ”the – so called – best” bits of our lives, talking about how stressed and over occupied we are as mothers is not really a thing. Though it is not a completely ignored taboo topic, it is also not customary to speak and share about the truth and struggles behind motherhood. In a lot many ways it makes us feel uncomfortable and less of a mother, as we often fear being misjudged by our family, friends and the society. Despite of the fact that we are doing and giving our best in raising our little ones, we hesitate to talk about it. In order to get accustomed to the new way of being a good mother, which is nothing but just being ourselves, each one of us should try to come out of our cocoons and exchange heavy pieces from our story. Since it is at the end a mother who is considered to be the care taker of child who later grows up to make a society, it is our responsibility as a ”good” mother. Isn’t it?